It seems blogging has taken my fancy and like the interpretive chameleon that I am I have now started thinking in blog form. Much like when I watch any comedian only moments later will I imitate him in my head, i.e. Lee Evans and Billy Connolly to name a few (well two...). Many ideas have streamed through my mind on which subject to talk about next, and much like any idea conceived about what tattoo I should have, has been regarded then soon forgotten as it bears no real importance or meaning. But seems as it is my blog I shall talk about myself and much like a presentation I did on myself in year 11 or 10 (I can rarely remember years in accordance with my memories) it will not bear any true meaning or insight. Nothing much has changed since then I still do not care about anything truly significant, there is no burning cause that I strive to help, no injustice I wish to right and no super villain I wish to stop. I am apathetic, indifferent, spiritless. Blame it on my generation, blame it on my upbringing, blame it on TV but I have had no trials or tribulations in which to overcome in my life to make me care, I've simply drifted through; apathetic, indifferent, spiritless. Exams do not phase me for at one time I was smarter than even the brainiest of boffins, Glynn ( apologies for the use of his name if it compels you to bitchiness, but it was needed). Sports did not phase me for I enjoyed them and played them regularly with my friends and as a result had no health issues, the fact is it is seemingly impossible for me to gain weight. I have stayed at a wii ideal of 9st 7 for what seems like an eternity, in spite of the incomprehensible amount of food I stuff down my gullet.
As a Kazak once said and my teacher and all round favourite teacher, the soulful songstar, Mr Dave Tuheeeeeeeeey agreed "I am smart but lazy." This revelation came about when I was bored and found myself in the maths I.T. block, this girl ( a pretty one I might add, it always seems to be the pretty ones that compel me to do such things, well anythings) was practicing Hungarian Algorithms something taught to her in her Further Maths Group of M2 (Mechanics 2 for those not familiar with Maths jargon). This pricked my curiousity and, as I do, I took her book and started to read, upon finding a blank piece of paper I began scribbling things down. Suffice to say she was bemused by my apparent attempt at the Hungarian
way of Algorithms. Those who know what I look like and how I act, would also be bemused by such an action as I, Liam Bilton a.k.a. The Lengend a.k.a. Bilton(at times I have no first name, it is only rarely used to distinguish me from another Bilton, whenever our clan congrigates), am seen as a drunken party animal who at parties bounces from girl to girl and it is seen as a coup if someone, anyone can pull before I can. But despite this visage, which I am against as it is bordering on the likes of a charicature much like The Fonz or Joey Tribiani, I do have hidden depth and can master such tasks. It was upon this that her preconceptions seem to have fallen and this allowed her to utter the phrase. This made me smile as never has such a sentence summed me up so well. It wasn't even a complex sentence it was simply two contrasting statements, "smart, but lazy." The picture: it wasn't fancy dress, I just wanted to be a cowboy.But as Bob Dylan once sang, the times they are a changing, and I feel it too. Despite my best efforts I must do something with myself and as it is, in my eyes, easy work and I will no doubt be in the company of those not as intellectual as I. I am heading up North. (Im not saying people up North are thick but only those that I have the pleasure to share the company of, but even this isn't certain. Maybe I shall be bested and my pride will instill me to rise to such a challenge, as a new foe approaches. My trial and tribulations may just be beginning.) To learn about boats and one day sail upon them having the wisdom of sailors from around the globe imparted upon me (but not in a gay way). I can't see myself doing this all my life, it's nice I guess, sailing to exotic lands and getting paid to do so but I have no passion for it and that is what I desire. I have now left college, I have taken my subjects and on August the 20th I shall have my grades. So that shall be it for the most part of my educational career, there will be no more GCSE's to obtain, no more A Levels to gather and no Degrees shall be had on my seaward training. A part of this saddens me as I always felt I'd be the first of my entire family, the Kirwans and the Biltons, to go to University and complete it. I was the greatest hope, Im not ruling out the possibility of University but as time passes it seems less likely. Nothing is inspiring me to go, there is nothing there I wish to learn. More than likely I would simply focus on the social side anyways due to the lack of enthusiasm I would have for my course. I am 18 and dont know what is to become of my life. I used to be sure but now when it matters, at this crossroads in my life, I dont know where to turn so Im simply following any route, an easy route.
God this blog has gotten more and more depressing as I've rambled on. It's alot more meaningful than my presentation after all, maybe because this will more than likely be read by an audience of one, rather than that of my classmates for whom I feel I do not wish to bear them my inner workings but rather they see the beer swilling, girl snogging Bilton. I feel this is a good point to end although I could ramble for hours and had wished to fit in a story about my chickens and how they run for the back door but I feel the connection would be tenuous. I also wish to talk about the audience of one but again another time. Maybe her connection to the chickens wont be so tenuous and they can share a post together.
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