Been A While (I'm sure I've used this title before)

I don't know what brought me back to this site after such a long while. Much like the previous post, despite it's chronological distance, I found myself sleeping all day today as well. Well all day yesterday I guess you could qualify it as now. And thus at half 3 in the morning, as I attempt to drift off to no avail. Even adopting a method of breathing and looking from an article from Men's Health. Whose attitudes on women border the creepy, from their how to on the manufacturing of "the spark" to touching her in all the right places systematically to get her hot. It could almost be compared with January, from the Merchant's Tale, and his work like attitudes to sex. Call me old fashioned but I prefer a more natural feel when talking to and engaging women and not have it seem like a mechanical procedure or step by step process. Anyway, I digress, back to the odd sleeping pattern.

It all started Monday actually and the reverberations are still continuing at the other end of the week. I attempted to set right my body clock after the weekend by going to bed at the all to sensible time of 8 o'clock in the evening. After four hours of sleep, at the stroke of midnight, as the two hands on the clock aligned, I awoke. Unable to return to my slumber I tossed and turned and tried all manner of positions in which to get comfortable and finally woo myself back to sleep but to no avail. So a compromise was struck forth from the two opposing sides of my brain, the sensible and precocious left and the alive and kicking right, two hours of watching something on the internet and then back to sleep for another four hours and then to the gym for half 6. A fair compromise I should say but not one all parties abided to. As the sun rose on the Tuesday I was still awake, lamenting that very fact and saying I must get some, despite how little, sleep. So sleep I did, at half 7, and set my alarm for 8:30, convince myself that it was like a siesta in the middle of the day and I would awake feeling refreshed and ready for the days learning. Unfortunately that day passed me by and Stevie Wonder's wake up warbles were left unheeded. Stevie Wonder Superstition is my alarm tone, just to clarify.

Tuesday day was gone and a similar Tuesday night to the one previous. The saving grace for my academic attendance was that my lessons on a Wednesday didn't start until 3 in the afternoon so with gusto I was there bright eyed and bushy tailed only to be told it was down as a tutorial lesson and unless there were any problems we could leave. Wednesday was done. The only work being a few questions from an electrical assignment which is impending and looming ever closer and a wager placed on the nights games which only served to distract me from my work and deprive me of five pounds. And alas tonight is no different. It seems that both past and present me both have problems sleeping at normal hours but luckily for me, present me not past me, this is a problem for future me and old lefty.

Alive and kicking, the side of me which probably wrote the part about foreign girls in the previous post, the rest of it was possibly a collaboration between the two parties wrestling for supremacy and to get their overall tone felt, is happy to go on writing this despite the occasional yawn and impending doom of the promise of an afternoon playing football and a morning at the gym and doing the electrical assignment in the electrical power class despite the deadline being today. The man is similar to that of the previous Ship Stab man (another time link) despite being Brazilian, short and has hair occasionally resembling that of Ace Ventura when someone messed with the "doo" and the other being from Middlesbrough, skinny and bald. This helps with the getting away with procrastinating but not so much with the learning, maybe the learning will be like osmosis and just pass in from background noise and infrequent glances to the board. Probably not.

So nothing seems to change, the world turns and I sleep during the day. I wish there was more of an open culture with regards to this apart from ASDA being open nothing else really is. I even feel weird being there then, like even they're curious as to why I need a sausage roll at 4 in the morning, it's not like I'm just bored or anything. Despite the internet's vastness it can get old fast. I seem to routinely go on the same websites and seem disappointed that there is nothing new when I cyclically return an hour later. But back to my point why can't there be more things at night, I like the night. A good day you'll talk about for a week, a good night is one you'll keep coming back to. But that more than refers to going out and getting drunk and I was thinking more along the lines of having things open 24 hours a day, just to make my life easier.

Well speaking of drunk why don't I talk about that, who doesn't love a good drunken story with holes in the story because you can't remember and unexplained actions. Yeah on second thoughts why don't I speak on a different subject matter on the slight possibility my thrilling story of why I'm awake didn't leave you running for the hills and but also left you wanting more. I wouldn't go as far as using an emoticon, I'm sure you all picked up on the sarcasm (you all now there's hope for ya). Although lord knows how hard it is to convey tone in text, especially a text. So the subject I shall choose is the fairer sex and those that have my affections. Hopefully I won't sound as much of a douche as I did previously plus it would be nice to see how I've matured.

So women, those scary things which apparently can be manipulated by the touch of some buttons. Personally though I love them, all of them. In comparison to men that is. Well for the obvious reason and also for the fact I seem, in my mind anyway, to talk to them with more gusto and passion. On first contact with a guy the conversation is faltering and idle at best, "How's life?" and "What do you do then?". Hardly Michael Parkinson-esque. I'm not sure if it's the desire to sleep with them or the fact that they're less imposing and therefore feel more friendly is open to debate. Either way, women are my preference and I'm sticking to it. I seem to think a lot about them, not unusual considering I'm young and single. I always find my thought lead to the what could've been rather than the have been. For example, in the library one night sat on a computer next to a girl studying or at least typing up a text about Khrushchev and despite focusing on my work, my mind wandered to asking her about her work and then who knows what (righty at work). But always comes the doubt and the "don't do it" from lefty. It seems on these matters lefty usually wins out in public. So time dwindled on in the library until the girl started packing away, fearing the moment slipping away I felt compelled to say something, so as she turned and put her book in her bag, I blurted out as calmly as I could "Can I ask you a question?" The girl startled by this turns and replies, "Me?" "Yes," I smile mostly with relief that she heard it and also that I managed to pull off an air cool, in spite of the panic filled frenzy within. What followed was a brief conversation on her work and then mine and a little bit on how my handwriting was similar to a friend of hers. And that was it, she left with a smile and I still regale that to myself as a win for the day. So the thing I think I've taken from this is that I should endeavour to talk to more unknown girls because it seems to make my day.

I may once again look back on this writing with an uneasy feel of dread and embarrassment much like when I watch 500 days of summer. And that's a personal joke for future me, sorry for keeping you up all night.

Me then (top) Me now (bottom): Not much changes in a year.

Four movies, One night

Sleeping all day and being up all night can be a bad thing. In this case it was and it wasn't. Like most things it had it's negatives; missing Ship Stability, missing breakfast, dinner and tea, having to survive on Wotsits and Irn Bru (its a wonder i didn't turn orange, save the grace of milk), not seeing my friends and also it was a Friday but i spent it in my room. The positives; a lot of quiet time and a chance to catch up on things. Sounds like a bit of a unfair fight with an abundance of missed things, right? But Ship Stab. is an arduous and irrelevant course with a teacher with no real authority so the lesson is spent catching up with distant friends, seeing how they are doing and whether or not i can see there new digs and mostly texting girls, which i like, a lot. Funnily enough i can't figure out English girls, most it appears, seem not to be interested in me and seem an enigma to me, one right turn, is wrong. But those who aren't of the English persuasion however seem to like me and i like them for it.
Anyways where was I? I tend to lose track in these. Especially when it comes to girls and sure I could ramble non stop about girls the unattainable, inaccessible curvy and beautiful objects that they are.
Yeah, staying up all night. Well, this night I spent it watching movies, certain types of movies. No, not those. Sports movies, especially those pertaining to the "These events are based on a true story" genre. I watched Remember The Titans, Invincible, The Rookie and The Sandlot (Not a real story but it takes me back to my childhood and a good and distant friend in Mark Smith). These stories always bring a smile to my face because they are real and, sure, you know whats going to happen, protaganist wins and he gets the girl (once again barring sandlot), but its real and someone lived through these events. It's that which makes me smile. That dream one person had, where no one believed him and in two of those cases not even the "hero" did. But they overcame obstacles (age, racism, big dogs) and people trying to get them down. It's the million to one shots that make me smile, even if they don't work out, you've got to smile at those people and say they tried their hardest and that deserve respect. Well, mine anyway. So it's these that give me renewed confidence and vigour.
Tonights a similar thing, another all nighter as it's 4:19 and theres no point sleeping now. But college tomorrow and so ill stay up until at least 5 in the afternoon.

I dont know why I write these now, it seems more of a chore than a purge. I think I'm fine now there isnt anything or anyone bothering me, I'm good. I have no idea how long this will last but for now I'm avoiding drama and anything that may bring me down. So parties and fun times is the aim. And I'll restart my life in Newcastle. Although one thing that is bothering me is that I want FOOD! Oh and money but only to buy pretty things to make me pretty.

Looking for friend, must have time on there hands

Why does no one ever want to do anything? I'm serious. I cant think of the last time I received a text or a message inviting me to do something. I'm always the asker never the askee. I even invite myself out in town, its just generally assumed I'm going to be there. The last time I truly remember being asked if I wanted to do anything is by Glynn, after a prolonged exile due to the fuck up of a holiday. And yes, I did accept because I can't dispose of friends because I have too much time on my hands and I don't like asking the same person over and over again if they want to do something. Plus there are certain things I can do with one friend that I can't do with another. Jack, for instance, is the only friend I play tennis with because; a) he has a court in his back garden, b) he's free during the week in which to play and finally c) he wants to play and is at the same skill level as me. Glynn is the one I play games with FIFA, pool, Wii bowling, whatever. If it wasn't for the loud music in Riley's I'd probably have a good old chat with him, whilst I beat him at pool, too.

Is it me? Is it karma for all the times when I was a child I decided not to go to a friends house simply because I couldn't be arsed? Looking back I feel guilty about those times and at the time I didn't envision a time when I wouldn't have something to do with someone. But now I'm stuck for ideas whenever a dreary Sunday rolls along and my hangover isn't inhibiting me to stay in bed. I think even now I'd still make the effort just to earn points for turning up and hopefully making a good enough impression to compel them to want to do something with me again. But even with a full tank of petrol I don't know what to do. Do something outside? No, its raining. No one will want to do that. Go to the cinema? I've been like 5 times this week, I think they're starting to recognise me, besides need to save money. TV it is then, another Sunday spent on the sofa, flicking through sky trying to find something acceptable to watch for at least half an hour. Maybe I could invite someone round, watch a movie. Can't ask a girl, none of them know me well enough to come around. But again my friends seem to be absent on Sundays; work, hungover, holes to poke.

A friend of mine once complained that, "our friends are shit, they'd never do anything like that." When we were on the subject of Jazz, Andy and Murgy's trip to Cornwall. I just can't help but think, "why does it have to be someone else who has to suggest it?" This in all fairness is a moot point as previously stated by her "our friends are shit." Another gem of hers was "Handicapped people are way more fun than so called cool people." She then began to recant a tale in which they rolled down a hill on wheelchairs while drunk and fell off. But surely anybody drunk and with access to a wheelchair and a hill would do such a thing. Doesn't even need to be a wheelchair or a hill. Give me a fire extinguisher and a computer chair, I'll propel myself.

But in all fairness are friends are shit and have no sense of adventure. A plan of mine was going to LONDON for a POUND (bargain), going out, getting drunk and then wandering round LONDON, hungover or otherwise, perusing the shops until about one in the afternoon and the returning back for a POUND. Sleep when you get back, simple. But I couldn't see any of my friends doing this but if someone told me about the time they went to London and back for TWO POUND, had a great time, possibly got into some sort of hijinks's, i would be in awe of that person, jealousy would coarse through me, that they and their friends have achieved this while I was there sat on the sofa flicking through Sky.

So this week I'll make plans: tennis with Jack, hopefully Riley's with Glynn (more than likely to be rejected in place of FIFA though), see Mark tomorrow, possibly something with Ceri (from now on is going to be referred to as Cezza because I can do nicknames too) don't know what yet, then at sometime, going out somewhere good, with someone good, doing something good and having a story to tell. Who, where, when and what have yet to be decided all I know is why.

Bilton's Diet

Today I have been eating mostly chocolate and burgers. But I did go for a run at an innappropriate time so it balances out.

I'm sticking to it

I think I'm sticking with this. This is my fifth post, a milestone I'm sure. I don't think my blog serves any real purpose or utility. I don't offer advice, well not intentionally. I don't even criticise or complain (well not yet). I, like almost everyone else blogging, just tell people about my life. Maybe I should provide some service, actively. My life isn't interesting, it's borderline boring, so why tell people about it?
Another thing I'm sticking with is jogging. Purely for fitness. But you never know it may be useful in an emergency, one day I could no longer need a taxi after a night out and will jog home with ease after a night out. I run no further than to the main road and back, a feat taking no longer than 15 minutes, I guess. Well about 4 songs. Although my right headphone isn't comfortable with the running motion so fall out and after a few times I let it hang down and beat against my chest in time with my steps.
Although I do have a strange want that, due to FHM, has tickled my fancy. A distant dream but one I'd love to do. THE NORTH POLE MARATHON. The northern most marathon. I have no idea why I want to do this but I want to. Its a pipe dream and costs about £5000 to enter but I want to. I've never run a marathon before, I've never run over 10 miles (I think) but I want to. It's just that it's one of those things you could say at a party, when someone was droning on abut their wife and kids or how they've just been promoted. To which I can retort well I've ran across the North Pole. To win it would be nice too.

Im not quite sure what to write

My first blog was right, it really was all down hill from there. I've lost inspirado. There's no clear idea of what to write, then again there never was with the previous one's I simply started typing and let my mind ramble and hopefully fit in a story from my life within there. But four posts in and Im already stumped. So Im just going to tell you what I did in the past hour.
I've been laid on the seattee watching Dara O'Briain and shooting him at the same time. In a way all boys/men/women-with-hair-on-their-bollocks are near anything that imitates a gun we immediately pick it up and shoot any viable target before ultimately turning the gun on ourselves and in our own unique animated way, as each persons imaginative death is different, feign the bullet ricochetting through their head/heart/stomach. My weapon of choice is the newly acquired, and quite realistic, desert eagle looking, wii control holder used to aid in shooting zombies. It was bought as a present for father's day, one of those convenient presents you can use aswell. This present was accompanied by another gun holder (not holster although I am tempted to really emerse myself except for the fear I'll buy a real gun and walk into a mcdonalds and kill) and House of the Dead: Overkill. This game harkens back to times when we'd be on our family travels, and no matter where, we would find an arcade supplied with House of the Dead and me, my brother and my dad would take it in turns to shoot and try to survive. Personally I was more of a fan of Time Crisis, partially because it made you subconciously duck behind cover as the protagonist did, as if you were the one in the game (I've lost the point of this blog now and am reading back on what I've wrote so I can know where to take this). Right back on track (not really), yeah so there I was with the "gun" shooting Dara and at one point out of the window at a cat. Thats it.
I'm probably not ready to snap at one point but in all fairness I'm not an aggressive person I'm too laid back. I'd rather go with the flow, then try and stop the flow. There's no point getting angry, not that it never happens but I just feel petty afterwards like I'm just spitting my dummy out.
Sex: How To Do Everything on Fiver it's not that bad, although somethings I already know. This week Cunnilingus and tips on how to suck your own cock (I'm not going to try that, for one I'm really inflexible and two it's fucking weird).